Taking Responsibility for our Darkness, Shadow, Integration,
and Having Created a Pathological Society

I dare say that nearly all of us in this world find ourselves fleeting between a path of “enlightenment” or abundance and one of suffering or disconnection. Most people in this world are fragmented internally due to previous generational trauma or as a by-product of direct traumatic experience (relative to the individual) in our upbringing. However, few of this majority are willing to take responsibility for this fragmentation or even look at it as a possibility as to why their life isn’t the way they want or expected it to be. When we refuse to pay attention to these events or reflect on our own behaviours that have brought us down a more self-sabotaging and darker path, we cannot feel truly fulfilled and are unable to step fully into our Light and personal power. In order to do this, we need to take a good look at ourselves and be open to seeing our mistakes and the places where we need to improve our competence in life-management. When we do this, we are able to be more authentic and open in our expression to ourselves and others, so that self-reliability and self-trust can be further integrated and embodied.

I can already hear some of you thinking, “Okay, Katie, but HOW are we supposed to integrate and embody these fragmented parts of ourselves? No one has ever taught me.”

You won’t like hearing this, but one cannot truly be self-realized until they are willing to face their darkness and shadow aspects. This is how integration works because the more you push away and DENY these darker parts of yourself, the further fragmented you become. There is a shift that happens when you acknowledge that “daemon” for what it is – a protective part of you. Allow me to try and make more sense of this for you…

Think about the outcast in the schoolyard, if this outcast was you – then hello there, kindred soul. I see you. That person tried their hardest to fit in, but they were different, estranged, eccentric, weird… until someone came along and met them where they were at and established connection. Often these individuals try to change themselves in order to be accepted by those around them. This is the same thing that occurs within us. These shadow parts came to be because at some point – they were not included or felt unsafe, and you needed to survive. It really is that simple. We humans love to complicate simplicity and singularity thanks to our beautiful imaginative consciousness. If we can be objective and see our misguided thinking without judging ourselves as higher or lower, good or bad, then we can start welcoming that lost part back into the internal system. We need to remember that there is much more to this world than betraying yourself in order feel seen and understood by another. Source made no mistake at all with you – nothing is broken even if it feels like it sometimes, I promise you that much.

The key in this work is to remain open hearted and be willing to evolve and change. Some hedonistic parts of us need to “die” in order for us to be “reborn” as a phoenix rising from the ashes of inferno because these parts no longer serve our entire being. The things we act on and choose when in a state of survival and fear are not sustainable long-term solutions to every upheaval.

Yet, due to the feelings of uncertainty and the compelling need to protect ourselves, this change can be terrifying – especially when all we have known is that feeling of needing to survive. Healing occurs when we start making different choices and cultivating safety for ourselves where we may not have had that same power before, because we were children. As adults, or individuals who have relieved themselves from the environment that caused the discomfort in the first place, we can go within (or work with a healer, coach, therapist) to re-establish and understand what CALM actually means or feels like – most of us, do not know what CALM and PEACE actually is, we think we do… but when our life isn’t where we want it to be, something else (usually a fragmented part of self or personal attachment) is animating our vessels/bodies and we deprive not just ourselves, but others from who we are at our core. Re-parenting and utilizing the readily available therapeutic resources that may not have been there for those of our previous generations, can profoundly shift the quality of our life and by proxy, the life of others.

Since we are all part of the human collective, we really are one and the same despite perceived differences. Thus, when we take responsibility for the darkest areas of ourselves, we are thereby looking at the inner areas doing things that commit harm to ourself and others, that we know deep down are not in our or their best interest. Doing so is us making the choice to discipline ourselves into stopping those harmful thoughts, behaviours, and actions.

“Okay, I am starting to follow what you’re saying, but why would we choose to do this when this is how we know and have learned to establish safety already?”

Well, let’s be honest with ourselves for a moment: we know they are not positive or productive thoughts, behaviours, and actions – even if they served at one point.

If we know they are not beneficial, then simply having that awareness to move towards more benefitting actions will start to ripple changes out into our energetic field and the world around us. Science has shown that everything is energy at the ultimate basis of it all, and this includes us. Beginning to upgrade our energy field this way begins to allow us to rearrange our lives to be based in truth and clear out the conditioning of our not-selves.

Most of adulthood is remembering what you were taught to forget in your upbringing – remembering the energy that you came here with and has actually never left your core-self. In this remembering we are able to begin aligning more closely with the positive presence of personal truth. Allowing ourselves to be this deeply honest with ourselves is a process that reveals even more of what we need to address more truthfully so that we may evolve into our highest expression of personal potential.

Listening to that truth within is the mechanism that allows us to dissipate any internal stress that we may be feeling and clarify our thoughts or feelings that may be producing such tension in our bodies. During those moments of feeling mentally disturbed or feeling emotional tension, getting directly to the root or source of those negative thought forms or energetic entities is how we are able to clarify the conditioning that has been implanted into our beings. In finally discovering this clarity, we are able to address the unresolved pain located in our consciousness body and clear all of the projections from our vessels that may have been good for those who influenced us but was never actually for us.

When we live a pathological life, we create a pathological society.

Pathology or being pathological is being in a state of disease, a state of dis-ease.

When we push away and ignore the presence of darkness and we continually tolerate harmful behaviour of senseless self-destruction (toward ourselves and others – as above, so below), the Light within us cries out louder and louder until we finally hear, listen, and look at it – typically through the presence of EXTREME DISCOMFORT and PAIN. The alchemical transmutation of pain into personal power is when we finally become the Love and Light that is able to shine from our presence. Through this integration process, out shines our becoming purpose and authentic expression. This process is not a process of mental or physical torture and self-harm, it is a simple process of observation in order to move THROUGH and experience that wasn’t FELT fully at the time of the trauma.

In order to transform this society that we have collectively created, we must put some form of effort into our lives and personas to be the kind of person we want to be and desire to see more of in the world. Be the change you wish to see in the world. This can be done in 4 steps and although they may seem redundant, stupid, or pointless (yes, I’m speaking to your shadow – you are seen too, dear one) – I assure you, your nervous system cannot distinguish the difference between reality and your imagination, only your conscious awareness can do that…

1. Get really clear on what you want to experience. Develop a vision of what you would like your life to be like in relation to the kind of person you want to become. What does the HIGHEST (not higher/lower, we aren’t perpetuating hierarchical patterns anymore) expression of yourself look like in this moment and in the future?
2. Construct an image in your mind, on paper, or vocally that would make it so. Using one of these three modalities (whichever resonates most) or all three if you desire, construct the image of what you would be experiencing, what it would be like, what will tell you that it is so, and what is or feels the most real to you.
3. Feel into the image using all your senses: taste, somatosensation/touch, olfactory/smell, audition/hearing, vision/sight, and a sense of time or balance. Get as detailed as possible to convince yourself, so that it is as if it is tangible. Allow yourself to feel fulfilled and immerse yourself completely in this sense of satisfaction – a sense of completion, that is has already happened or that it is done. This allows you to step into that sense of ease (instead of dis-ease) and back to centre so that you are not overwhelmed or swaying/floating away from ground.
4. Do your best to call in this feeling and break down this vision into smaller pieces that you can demonstrate every day in order to create a meaningful and connected life. Change is expected and inevitable, not a surprise, but we are human and creatures of habit, so this is where our challenge in this lies.

This practice will help you cultivate the motivation to take care of yourself properly. If you live in service to the greater whole (and yes, sometimes focus and service to self is a necessity before stepping into the greater whole, especially if you are a victim of abuse or trauma), your life will work out in the best possible way. It is completely okay if your service to the whole begins with true service to self and a pathway of self-honouring. In fact, I think we all need to start here in order to provide from a place of solid foundation and with an abundant/overflowing Cup of Love. You are wherever you are meant to be and my intention with this post is to reach everyone to some capacity.

I want you all to feel seen because you are worthy. You are so, so beautiful – you have simply forgotten how to recognize that beauty in ALL forms it decides to take because you have forgotten the Order in the Chaos.

There is nothing more practical in improving quality of life for yourself and other, than to solve the problems and obstacles that come as a result of committing to be the best person that you can be in this world. When we commit to ourselves this way, we can no longer tolerate behaviour or activity that is out of alignment with that intended goal-self. This is the embodiment of true integrity and self-actualization.

When we have a better comprehension of how conditioning or implanted thoughts are used to produce a pathological society, we can better discern the agenda and refuse to participate with it. The antidote to this worldwide nonsense and normalization of narcissism is connecting deeply with your inner spirit/heart/nervous system and anchoring yourself every day with higher emotional qualities like love, compassion, and empathy, and genuine care about what happens to the people and to the planet – because you are part of this planet and you are worthy of taking up space here.

Please only take what is useful for your personal growth and leave the rest. Thank you for your courage and bravery to be a truth-seeker.

May Eternal Love and Infinite Peace be with you.
As Warriors, we Rise in Love never to Fall again.